Sturgeon’s Law

90 percent of everything is crap
Work expands to fill the time available
Whatever can go wrong will
A septic tank is overflowing in the basement

Over 55 percent of suicides nationwide occur by firearm
Females attempt suicide 3 times more than males
Males complete suicide 5 times as often
Men are handier with guns and other tools

15 percent of professionals admit fibbing on their résumés
Costs cannot be cut by more than 100 percent
When asking a man his prowess, divide by 3
The United States is outsourcing sex to an offshore location

Drowning accounts for 4 percent of American casualties in Iraq
Children shouldn’t swim for an hour after eating
If a shark stops swimming, it can suffocate
Eventually the world will warm enough to steam off all the water

People use only 2 percent of their brains
The above is just 1 of many lies
The President can bend spoons with his mind
90 percent of everything is crap

(from Court Green)